Week over, initiate weekend chill mode!

A hectic week is over and I'm all set to embrace the weekend with open arms and a bottomless cup. The weather is getting warmer so it's time to shed the hermit status, get your ass outside and do something active, or if you choose to linger in laziness at least do it outdoors.

Now, please allow me to feed your thoughts with pointless nonsense and some cool stuff worth checking out....

Lions, tigers and project buildings, oh my! 
 
So I was listening to some news tidbits and there was talk of a new epidemic plaguing project buildings across the nation. It seems like more and more people are getting in trouble for housing wild animals in their apartment buildings. And I'm not just talking about housing some ferrets or some dogs they picked up off the street, but Lions, Tigers and all types of Jungle dwellers. Seriously, what the hell would possess someone who lives in a one bedroom apartment to try and hide a lion in their bedroom? I know it can be pretty bad in the PJs, but do you really need a Lion to ward off invaders? I'm sure they make excellent guard animals, but there is probably a 99% chance that it will kill or maul you before anyone even decides to break into your place. Some poor soul that actually tried to hide a lion in his apartment was in fact attacked by it. When he went to the hospital they questioned the wounds to which he said his dog attacked him. Being that the man had talon marks across his flesh that resembled a samurai sword's incisions they decided to go and investigate. To their surprise upon entering his apartment they found all types of wild exotic animals and a damned lion. It's pretty funny, but it also shows the level of stupidity in which some people operate.

If I even had the mere thought of attempting something this idiotic then I'm going all out. I'll shock everyone by being the first person to hide a wild Rhino in my apartment. Imagine the cops getting complaint of strange noises and going into investigate. They bust down the door and see a man sitting onto of a rhino like this:

I'm sure they would be so perplexed by that vision they would probably just close the door and walk away. A story that would become legend around the world. And if they decided to take you down, with nothing to lose, you can always charge them.

Lauryn Hill to Nicki Minaj?!?

 Let's completely disregard the fact that Nicki Minaj's voice is absolutely irritating and I'd rather listen to the sounds of grinding metal. She's insanely popular at the moment and has become the new IT girl of not just hip hop but music in general with various artists throwing her on their album for mass appeal. Her quirky, off the wall style is definitely different compared to other female rappers of today, but no different than what Missy Elliot was doing in the late 90s and so on.

Regardless of her so-called original style there truly is nothing about her that says "Musical Genius," nor does she display any exceptional talents from a hip hop perspective that will surely help her career last for generations to come. Enter Lauryn Hill. To me their are female rappers and then there is Lauryn Hill. Miss Hill is not a rapper that embraced the true essence of hip hop with lyrical abilities that can rival some of the greatest male emcees of all time, but she embraced music as a whole. She could rhyme, she could sing with a vocal range that easily placed her in the list amongst some of the top female artists of her time, she could play the guitar, compose songs with a cause and deeper meaning, she was music and art. Easily one of the most talented ARTISTS to ever grace radio. There is a reason she won about 40 grammy awards for her debut solo album.

This is not a blatant attack on Nicki Minaj, but music of today as a whole. How does one go from Lauryn Hill to Nicki Minaj, from SoundGarden to Blink 182, from Madonna to Britney Spears and so forth?

I don't know, maybe I'm trapped in the old school era and just don't understand the music of today making me incapable of embracing the change.

Regardless whether you heard it before or never have, do yourself a favor and pop in a copy of "The Miseducation of Lauryn Hill" and enjoy the flashback of music true musical artistry.

Other stuff of Non-Suckery

Weeds - Season 1-6 - A brilliant comedic drama about a down and out mother from the Suburbs that becomes a pot dealer to help support her and her family's above average lifestyle. Each season is better than the last with excellent twists and and turns that keep you anticipating the next episode each time. Superb writing supported by a stellar cast of characters make this a must see. I started watching this as the 6th season was coming to an end and ran through all seasons until I pretty much caught up. Each episode is just under 30 minutes in length with 12 episodes to a season making this a very quick and easy watch.

Adventure Time - Yes, this is a cartoon created with some of the cheesiest animation possible, but this is one cartoon that shouldn't be ignored. I'm a huge fan of cartoons from the 80s and 90s and have found it extremely difficult to follow many of the cartoons of today, but this one blew me away. It is absolutely hysterical with some of the most brilliant writing I have ever witnessed for a cartoon. Clever doesn't even begin to describe the genius behind this series.

It is about a young boy named "Fin the human" who travels across a wild world where humans are extinct with his witty super-morphing dog sidekick simply naked "Jake the dog," as they take on villains and save princesses on a daily basis. For a child it is hysterical from a visual standpoint and the stupid antics the characters are constantly involved in, but for the humor is without a doubt written to grab adults as well. In fact most of it is on such a mature level of humor I wonder if this was written for children in the first place. It's difficult to describe to anyone so all I can say is do yourself a favor and check it out on the cartoon network or find a place online to watch some of the episodes. I highly recommend watching the episode titled "Fear of the Ocean" from season 1.

Well that just about wraps about some of my weekly suggestions of things that absolutely do not suck. So until next time I leave you with one final picture of my Girl of the Week, the lovely Mila Kunis.

 

If you don't know, now you know!

With today's media overload the world is flooded with absolute trash and often we are left misplaced in a scavenger hunt to find that which does not suck. An overdose of reality shows plagues Television making our search for a decent show is like finding a needle in a haystack or more like a good show in a stack of Bachelors, Housewives, celebrity dance offs and talent competitions, hoarders, pawnshops, pregnant teenagers and a group of idiots sharing their pointless lifestyle choices as they live along the SHORE. Our music industry is flooded with 5 million groups that sound exactly the same all lacking in actual talent as now anyone can sing if you have a microphone and computer to edit your vocals. The movie industry is so lacking in originality that it has resorted to an onslaught of remakes. Remakes of movies that either were good the way they were and a reload is pointless, or remakes of movies that sucked in the past. If it sucked then, it most likely is going to suck now. The book industry is faltering with Authors trying to jump on the latest fad. It's almost as if there is some secret alliance to see how many vampire novels and teenage love stories they can dish out at the same time. Listen, if it's about Vampires and wasn't written by Bram Stoker or Ann Rice then there is nothing original about it.

On that note, I would like to present you with a list of things that are laced with nothing but extreme awesomeness. If you're looking for a good book, an original movie, or true musical talent to make your day pass, ease your mood, or help you escape for even a brief moment, then I suggest you look into the following:

Authors - Chuck Palahniuk & Christopher Moore

 If originality is what you seek, then seek no more.

Chuck Palahniuk pulls no punches and has no problem writing about the things that most people wouldn't. He is a man and he writes from a Man's point of view. His work may be fiction but his stories are laced with truths and realism that can leave the reader wondering from time to time if they are reading a story or a biography. Originality, vulgarity, perversion, dark humor, and cynicism can be found in every page from this creative genius. His unique short-style of writing makes reading his novels fast and fun with an amazing way of making you feel as if you are witnessing and listening to the conversations and dialogue first hand.  If you are not easily offended, enjoy dark humor and are craving something original then I would highly suggest you give him a chance. Choke and Fight Club are two of his more popular pieces of work so you may want to start with those.

Christopher Moore is?!? Where does one even begin to describe Christopher Moore's style of writing? It is very difficult to classify his style other than completely original and unique. His stories are bizarre, completely original pieces of work laced with an insane sense of humor and total brilliance. I can't remember the last time I read novels that had me laughing out loud. His writing style is vivid and pulls you right into the world he has created without overly drowning you in detail. His comedic genius can be found page after page sparking the readers nerve of curiosity making one wonder what they hell kind of madness am I going to read next. If a story about Jesus' adventure as a teen with his best friend, or his novel about a Man who has a pet demon with a nasty attitude and an appetite for human flesh doesn't reek of originality then I don't know what does. For your reading pleasure check out Lamb and Practical Demonkeeping. 

Music - Soundgarden

Welcome back to the era of grunge music. When talking about the Seattle grunge scene that invaded our radios in the 90s Nirvana, Soundgarden and Alice in Chains are typically the first 3 names mentioned. Soungarden combined the rough, rock stylings that made the genre popular with the insane vocal talents of Chris Cornell. The aforementioned groups without a doubt had a unique set of vocal talents but none could match the range and uncanny abilities of Chris Cornell. Hitting high notes that would pierce your eardrums with ease to a low somber style that gripped your emotions came from Cornell without effort. No matter how amazing a singer may be it would be completely meaningless without a solid band behind them. Crazy, funky guitar riffs, thumping base and drums complimented Cornell's vocal mastery perfectly. Together they formed an unforgettable group that pumped out some of the era's greatest achievements like Black hole Sun, Spoon man, Fell on Black days and Fresh Tendrils to name a few.  If you are a fan of rock, grunge music, or just music in general then Soundgarden is a must for all who appreciate real music.

Movies - American Beauty

 

Kevin Spacey is an absolutely brilliant actor. Whether he's portraying the psychotic, monotone serial killer from Se7en or a Neurotic Genius that believes he is an alien from another world in K-Pax, his performance is nothing short of masterful. In American Beauty he delivers a performance that surpasses them all. He plays a man on the brink of a midlife crisis, tired of his stereotypical life coping with the harsh realities of aging and normalcy. His wife is career obsessed to where her spark of passion for her husband and family is almost extinguished. His daughter is wrapped up with all the emotional baggage that comes with being a teenager while dealing with her dysfunctional parents at the same time. This movie is subtle, simple and above all realistic. It's an emotional drama that exposes the harsh realities of life in a beautiful way. Not everything is as perfect as it seems and this movie puts that all on display from the very beginning. This movie is as real as it gets without actually being a documentary. Life isn't always sweet and if you have a hard time dealing with that, then this movie definitely isn't for you. Excellent performances from all actors/actresses, a clever script and beautiful story, a chilling and somber soundtrack, mixed with astonishing cinematography makes this a must see. There is a reason this movie left with quite a few Oscars. 

That's about it for now and I'll continue this list later with some TV shows actually worth watching and other things that absolutely do not suck. 

On and How can I forget my Girl of the Week, the lovely Mila Kunis!

When a Ninja is not being a Ninja, he's playing Video Games

The responsibility of a Ninja often leads to him living a very selfless life. A life where the world around receives far more attention than his own personal needs. However, to maintain extreme sanity one must always take even the smallest amount of time to forget their life even for a brief instant and enjoy the nothingness. For me, one of my favorite methods of escape is found in the realm of Video Games. My responsibilities in the real word take away from my gaming, but when I can get my gaming on I do it without the slightest whim of hesitation.

At this very moment I'm currently entrenched in the dark insanity of Dead Space 2. However, this isn't about that. I'm going to get into complete dork mode and list 2 of my favorites that helped keep me sane throughout the years. These are in no particular order...just a mere list of 2 of my favorites. Why 2? Why not, it's a blog, a blog of pointless nonsense with no real value. And I'm bored.

Resident Evil 4

 

I have been a huge fan of the Resident Evil series since the very first game, which up until the 4th game came out held the crown as the best of the series. The first Resident Evil was dark, eerie, and truly embodied the feeling of being trapped in a Survival horror. Weapons and ammunition were limited, health was scarce and you were constantly left with the feeling that you were utterly alone and about to die any second. 

The other Resident Evil games were good but began to transform more into an action/thriller more so than anything else. If they could combine the heavy action moments of the later games with the intense, survival horror atmosphere of the original then they might just have a perfect game on their hands. Along came Resident Evil 4. Back was the supremely dark feeling of the original now mixed in with intense high paced action and a highly intriguing story to match. Gone were the sluggish zombies of old in which you could literally just walk around them to avoid their attacks. Instead they were replaced by infected humans that could think and move as any normal living individual can. They would run at you, dodge attacks, attack you in hordes and even use weapons. A constant level of suspense in which you never knew what was lurking around the corner just as in the 1st game but now, if you were unfortunate enough to be ambushed by a creeping villain, you'd better have your weapons ready as this time around they will chase you. The game moves at a very fast pace that keeps you involved from beginning to end, but not so fast that you miss out on the twisted world of evil around you. The game is beautifully detailed, exciting, scary and down right fun. This is a must have for any fan of survival horror games or just good video games in general. Sadly, Resident Evil 5 tried to capture on the look and feel of this game, but chose to make it nothing more than an action/shooter game. It was a great game but nothing compared to the 4th. Hopefully, if and when they make a new one they can get it right like they did in Resident Evil 4. 

Uncharted 2

 

Where do I begin with this game? I can easily get lost in a 500,000 page essay as to why this game is not but pure awesomeness. This is absolutely my favorite game of all time. But I'll leave it at that. 

Picture Indiana Jones meets National Treasure. The stories of both those films were never the most clever of stories and most intriguing, but they both proved excitement, thrills, and a highly enjoyable cast of characters that provided both the right touch of seriousness and humor to make it all worth it. Uncharted 2 follows suit perfectly. This game puts you directly in the shoes of a young, wittier Indiana Jones type of character named Nathan Drake. He's charming, funny, clever and down right kicks ass. But they made him very human and vulnerable. Nathan is an average man physically without any Bruce Lee style martial arts training, he's not a master of weapons, but what he's good at is using his head and the attributes he does have to get out of tight spots. This makes not only a very likable character but a character that is very easy to relate to as well. The villains are excellently cast, the female characters are surprisingly human and not just a busty rendition of a man's fantasy, the landscapes are captivating, the action is tight and suspenseful, this game rocks. The graphics are absolutely beautiful. Not many games carry this type of perfection in the worlds created around you. Play this and play it now.

But before I close this out let me leave this with saying that one of the most important aspects of the game is the voice acting. I have never played again where the voice acting is not only dead on accurate but well extremely well acted. The voice acting is so perfect that it truly makes you forget at moments that you are actually playing a video game. Now, go get this if you haven't played it. Get it now or I will find you and throw some ninja stars at your gaming console for ignoring this mastery.

So there you go, 2 of my favorites. In time I will list more and share my useless thoughts and opinions, but until then, feast on the words that corrupt this blog.

Oh and here is a bonus picture of my Girl of the Week...the lovely Mila Kunis.

 

Another weekend in the bag, another week falls upon me

The weekend was quiet, motionless, and above all...relaxing. Which is something I needed and haven't had in a long time. Enjoyable weather and some decent fights on Saturday night's Strikeforce event were an added bonus.

The main event was a brutal, brain busting slug fest that saw Paul Daley drop Nick Diaz flat on his face to only have the battle tested Diaz do what he does best, which is survive an ass whooping to come back and win the fight. Moments after getting dropped Diaz got up, landed a vicious punch to the body that hurt Daley bringing him to the floor to where Diaz polished his head with some ground and pound. Amazing performance from probably one of the most overlooked fighters in the sport. If George St. Pierre beats Jake Shields they need to make DIAZ vs GPS ASAP. Forget making GSP move up in weight to fight Anderson, let him square off against one of the best fighters in the welterweight division. If the UFC wants to put Anderson Silva in a mega-fight, then toss him in the cage with Jone Jones. In fact, Dana White, if you're out there lets make this happen, 2 titles on the line on one card...Silva vs Jones, Diaz vs GSP. I don't care if the rest of the card is filled with highlights of Jon Fitch's snuggle fests, I'd pay anything to see that.

Girl of the Week

 

Mila Kunis - I never really paid notice to Mila before but after seeing her in Black Swan and engaging and a very friendly love scene with my Wife Natalie Portman, I must say I've truly grown to appreciate all that is Mila Kunis. She's got that same exotic, erotic almost trashy look to her that makes Megan Fox and Angelina Jolie so sexy. She's got an awesome body, and again she had a sex scene with Natalie Portman. That alone puts her in running for my girl of the year award. 

Those eyes are vicious! She has a very cute appeal to her but at the same time she has that look to her that if you aren't a real man you might be in for some trouble when the door's closed. Luckily I'm 120% Super Dirty Ninja man with a wicked Sword game. Okay, let me stop before I get too carried away! 

That's it for now, it's the beginning of the week so I'm sure as the days creep along I'll have plenty more to say.

 

A night of Fights: Diaz vs Daley

Being that I'm a big fan of anything involving violence I must say I'm extra excited about tonight's Strikerforce card pitting the super arrogant, ultra talented violent stylings of Nick Diaz as he squares off against one of the most violent strikers in the sport...Paul "Semtex" Daley. For those of you who aren't familiar with what exactly "Semtex" is, it is a type of Plastic explosive, which is exactly what Daley packs behind every punch. Explosive fire power.

Sure there are some other semi-decent fights on tonight's card but I'd rather focus on the main event and my breakdown.


Nick Diaz

In this corner we have...Nick Diaz. To put it simply, Nick Diaz is bad ass! The true embodiment of a street thug that will slap your momma but with an extremely well rounded skillset of solid boxing and high-level Jiu Jitsu. His never say day attitude, endless supply of gas in the tank, high level grappling abilities and high volume punching boxing style makes him a handful for any opponent. Oh and did I mention he has a chin of stone? Yeah, that too.
Any weaknesses? Probably the fact that he shoots blood like a faucet from his face if you so much as poke him the right way. He did have corrective surgery done on his face to remove scar tissue, but we'll see how well that holds up against a power puncher like Paul Daley. His only other area of weakness has been his wrestling abilities in both his ability to defend the takedown as well as take his opponents down. While in the UFC the majority of his losses came from his inability to stop the takedown and his inability to submit top heavy wrestlers that choose to act as a man-blanket the entire fight. He's also struggled in the past with not being able to take the fight to the ground and show off his elite level jiu jitsu. Against a superior striker like KJ Noons in their first fight, he couldn't get him down at all and was forced to trade punches which lead to him having his face mangled forcing the referee to stop the fight. Against a striker like Paul Daley this could spell doom for Nick if he's not able to get the fight to the ground, where Daley is at his weakest.

Paul "Semtex" Daley

If there is anything you need to know about Paul Daley it's that he is a striker, an explosive heavy handed striker that has showed time and time again that if he lands a punch the likelihood of you staying conscious in the realm of reality is pretty damn slim.
He's technical, he's explosive, he's powerful, he too has shown a solid chin, and again when he lands a punch not only do you feel it but your unborn children can feel it as well.
His weakness would have to be anything other than striking. His biggest kryptonite is elite level grapplers and wrestlers the can repeatedly take him down and nullify his brain damaging strikes. He's shown much improved takedown offense from when he first started, but against high-level wrestlers like Josh Koscheck and Jake Shields there was really nothing he could do but enjoy the ride down to the ground and do the best possible to defend submissions and try to get back up. IF Diaz can get him down the ground, the likelihood of Diaz submitting him is very high. But notice the big IF I put in the beginning of that statement. Diaz simply does not have the takedown abilities even remotely close to the aforementioned fighters. So if Diaz can't get Paul down the ground more in favor of Semtex this fight swings.

The Results?
As mentioned Nick Diaz definitely has a chin of stone but has he ever been hit with the punching power Paul Daley packs? In a fight like this Nick Diaz is going to have to weather the storm and try to drag this fight into the later rounds where his superior cardio will begin to help him get the better of the fight. Daley has the ability to end this fight early and despite an excellent pedigree in boxing as well Nick Diaz's best bet is to grind on Daley from beginning to end. He may not have topnotch wrestling chops to take Daley down but he can press the action and force Daley to defend and fight it off until he begins to wear him down. Diaz needs to make the fight ugly, lean on Daley, make him work constantly as he brings the fights into the later rounds. If Diaz can do this until the 4th or 5th round without getting clipped too badly I can see him finally being able to open up with punches on a fatigued Daley and eventually being able to drag him to the ground and take home a submission victory. Which is exactly what I think will happen.

I think the fight is going to be a bit boring with a lot of clinching involved and grinding. Daley will have some bright moments as he lands some strikes but won't be able to keep the ultra-busy Diaz off of him. The heavy work load will cost Daley dearly as Diaz wears him down, takes him down in the 5th and finishes him off with an armbar.

NICK DIAZ via Armbar Rd. 5

In the Beginning....

For many years I've traveled within this deranged realm called Earth. Walking silently in the shadows, severing the heads of those that dared cross my path in an instant. Honing my skills, mastering my craft in the art of Dirt Slinging, I forged my mind in the fiery depths of this forsaken planet transforming myself into a weapon. A weapon of justice, free speech and a land where all opinions are welcome. I keep my sword holstered for no man.

Welcome to my world, a world where my opinions are the only thing that matters. What I say is and shall be. Feel free to say as you please, like or dislike, just be honest. I can't guarantee you won't become my latest victim, but once can hope.


With all that being said I will now share my thoughts and feelings for this week, and since I'm starting late in the week this will carry over into next week as well. Read or don't read, care or don't care....here it is!

Movie of the Week

I must say this movie came as a pleasant surprise. I went into this movie with very low expectations. I have seen Bradley Cooper in various films before but this just seemed like a film far beyond his normal element. To put it bluntly, I just couldn't picture him doing anything outside of a comedy, but in rare form, I was wrong.

Bradly Cooper displayed his usual charm and wit mixed in with an excellent serious side making his character very believable and easy to relate to. I mean who the hell wouldn't want to take a little pill that would transform them into a genius and be able to utilize knowledge instantly like in the Matrix films? I'd be first inline for a pill like that. Remember Tyrone Biggums from The Chappelle Show as the ultimate crack head. That would be me, but with the Limitless pill. Anyways, his portrayal of an Author living life at rock bottom who is suddenly presented with an opportunity to transform his life was very believable.

The movie itself was filmed at an excellent pace where nothing ever really slowed down to a crawl and nothing was done too far fetched. I honestly was expecting some true Matrix-Style scenes and for the film to get carried away but it never did. Even the one scene in which he is attacked by a few guys and begins to use Martial arts from films that were embedded in his memory wasn't too flashy, wasn't overly done with crazy wire-work and slow motion effects. It was executed in a somewhat believable manner that made the scene highly enjoyable. As enjoyable as the fights scenes from the original Matrix film as supposed to the sequel where everything was taken just a little too far.

If this film wasn't on your list of movies to see I would suggest giving it a shot. It's worth the 10 bucks to see it in a Theater with HD visuals and sound. Check it out...now!!! Or I will eat your soul.

Girl of the Week

Dana DeArmond - Okay, so I wouldn't say she's the most beautiful girl around but she is hot in her own special way. Yes, she is an adult film star, but whatever. Her attitude, cute facial features and smoking hot body have put her on my radar for this week. Don't like it or agree? Whatever man, she floats my boat this instant.

My goal one day is to conduct and interview with her and all the girls I will post up in the weeks to come. I will pull no punches and ask the things most people wouldn't ask. So Dana if you're out there, and I know you love surfing the web as the Internet's girlfriend or whatever your nickname is. Hit me up some time so we can get this cracking. And stay sexy!!!

Video Game of the Week

 

I was a big fan of Dead Space and the eerie, I'm alone and going to die alone atmosphere it created and hoped that the second would follow suit. Most sequels suck and stray too far from the original in hopes of exploiting their new found fame. Dead Space 2 doesn't disappoint in the least. 

It's still extremely dark, it's creepy, it still stays away from a musical score and relies only on the sounds of the world around you and it still kicks ass. Turn the lights out, turn the volume up and rock on with this one. It's one of the few games out that keeps you on the edge of your seat the entire time, almost in a constant state of suspense as you await something to happen. Traveling through dark, empty corridors unable to see around the corner you are constantly expecting something to jump out and kill you. But when you really expect it to happen it never does. It never comes so what you do is end up relaxing a bit, getting into a state of ease and just as you are getting comfortable, something jumps out of no where and kills you, putting you right back in that white knuckled state. 

It's not a difficult game, the enemies rarely vary their attacks and are pretty easy to kill and the variety of enemies is pretty limited, but who cares. I'm a big horror movie fan and this definitely gives me the feeling of being in one of those sci-fi like horror movies like Aliens and Event Horizon. I'm all for it and give it the Dirty Ninja Sword Slice of Approval. Definitely one of my top thriller/horror games along with the original Dead Space, Resident Evil 1 and my all-time favorite Resident Evil 4.

 

 Music/Song of the Week

 

Absolutely NOTHING! The music industry at this very moment sucks beyond belief. True Hip Hop, rock music, classical, opera, it doesn't matter, it's all garbage these days. The artists are terrible, the music is horrendous, it's just mind boggling how there is nothing around. If you feel I'm out of line, then by all means point in the direction of the all-mysterious musical talent that I can't seem to find these days. But if it sucks, be warned. I will not only belittle you and make you feel like a schoolboy that just got his head flushed in the toilet and lunch money taken, but I will kill you. 

So yeah, that is what I'm feeling and not feeling at this very moment. Check back for more absurdities and pointlessness in the future. It will only get better from here on out.